WANT A FIRST LOOK BUT YOUR PARTNER DOESN’T? HERE’S WHAT TO DO
Photo: Lucia Kiel Portraits
As you're planning your wedding one decision that you may run into is whether or not to have a "first look" before the ceremony. If you’re not sure what a first look is, it’s a private moment where you get to see each other for the first time on their wedding day, usually captured by a photographer before the ceremony takes place. While some couples are eager to embrace this modern tradition, others prefer to maintain the anticipation of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony. If you and your partner are not seeing eye to eye on this topic here are some things to consider when trying to come to a decision.
1. Communicate and Compromise
Like many aspects of wedding planning, the key to making decisions about the first look is communication and compromise. Take the time to sit down together and discuss your reasons for wanting or not wanting a first look. While one of you may value tradition and wants to have that private moment together before walking down the aisle, the other may not feel the same and would rather share the experience of seeing each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle. It’s important to listen to what each person wants and try to understand each other's perspectives. Then you can work together to find a compromise that honors both of your wants and needs.
2. Consider the Benefits
It's essential to weigh the pros and cons of doing a first look versus waiting until the ceremony. A first look can offer a one of a kind opportunity for you to share a quiet moment together, calm your nerves, and exchange loving sentiments before the day begins. As the wedding day tends to be very busy this may be your only opportunity for an intimate moment together. Doing a first look may also free up time for portraits and allow you to join cocktail hour with your guests. On the other hand, waiting until the ceremony can preserve the tradition and excitement of that special moment when you lock eyes at the altar. Reflect on what matters most to both of you and how each option aligns with your vision for the day.
3. Compromise with a Twist
If you're still at an impasse, consider compromising with a creative twist on the traditional first look. For example, some couples choose to do a “first touch.” This is where you where you hold hands behind a door or barrier, allowing you to have a private moment without seeing each other face to face.
Other ideas include:
Exchange gifts and have someone deliver them for you. Have your photographer photograph the moment you and your partner open them to capture your surprise and emotions in real time.
Similar to gift giving, exchanging a heartfelt letter can be just as special and done in private without seeing each other before the ceremony. Expressing yourself through words can be just as intimate and heartfelt.
Capture a first look with your parents, siblings or members of your wedding party. If you want to have a surprise reveal moment this is also a great way to do that and include some of the other significant people in your life
Get creative and find a compromise that feels authentic and meaningful to your relationship. Whether you choose to do a first look or not, what matters most is that the decision reflects your unique love story and values as a couple. By communicating openly, considering the benefits, and finding a creative compromise, you can navigate this decision together and create a wedding day that feels truly special and authentic to both of you.
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